Thursday Check-In

I was naughty! I didn't go to the gym after I promised myself that I would. I have no excuse. I just didn't go. Laziness I guess. I went straight to the post office which is up the hill by my house so I could ship my Shrink Yourself book off to one of my accountabilibuddies. Then I was going to go right back down the hill into the valley to hit the gym. It's not even very far. Like 5 mins. But instead, I just went home. I don't even remember making a conscious decision to skip the gym. I didn't have a fight with myself in my head or anything. I just went home.


Since I'm confessing my sins here, I might as well add the others too. I didn't drink very much water at all. Maybe 12oz all day. Nor did I practice my guitar. I had plenty of time to do all of it. But instead, I finished a puzzle. Hard to see exactly in this picture but there it is. Hubby and I started it last winter and gave up because it's seriously soooo hard. But we pulled it back out and finished it yesterday.
Speaking of accountabilibuddies.
I've been thinking about this relationship. It's an interesting one now isn't it? It's more than just a ho-hum kinda thing. In order to have a real accountabilibuddy, there are a few rules of engagement that must be present for the relationship to be effective. What do you think those rules of engagement should be? Hmmm...

How about?

1. 100% honesty - meaning no conveniently leaving details out, full disclosure
2. Open/regular communication - daily, every other day, weekly, whatever works and is agreed by both parties should work, agreed upon openness, call it like you see it, take it when it's delivered to us with humility and self awareness as the goal
3. Expectations - clearly stating each other's expectations from ourselves and each other
4. Dedication - both parties would need to be dedicated to the other, not just a lack-luster interest because we feel like it's the right thing to do
5. Balance - probably want to give just as much encouragement and hip-hip-hoorays as we give constructive criticism or evaluation, keeping our interest in the other person under wraps so we don't become overbearing or judgemental while ignoring our own progress or lack there of
6. Challenge - because we all tend to slip here and there and no human is perfect we need to be ready and willing and able to challenge and each other's thoughts and actions, not in judgement but to hold a mirror to our accountabilibuddies when we think it's needed
7. Plan - have an idea of what to do if/when one of us falls (I call it my What-If plan) so each person knows what the other needs and it's communicated and agreed upon before the fall happens

I don't know. What else do you think? More? Less? What do you think?

Here is Salina's What-If Plan:

Ways that I self-sabotage
1. I have an emotional reaction to something and automatically crave food.
2. If I get bored with my daily routine, I lose motivation and avoid the gym.
3. If I stop doing the self care things I’ve been doing (listed on my blog), my mood tends to go downhill which opens me up to all other self-sabotaging behaviors.
4. If I’m not feeling well or haven’t eaten my regular meals during the day, I am triggered to avoid the gym.
5. If I get sick and have to rest for a couple days, I lose momentum and fall back into old habits of grazing the kitchen or avoiding the gym.
6. Last and definitely not least is the infamous PMS emotional breakdown.

Ways that you can support me
1. Continue to do the daily check-ins on how we did the night before and what we have planned for the day. This is so helpful.
2. If you see me doing the same tired things for a while, encourage me to change it up by taking a different class or doing outdoor activities instead of every day at the gym, etc.
3. If I haven’t admitted to stopping the self care stuff but you see my mood start to slip over a couple days, ask me how the meditation, yoga, guitar practice, reading, thank yous, and/or blogging are going. That should be enough to bring it to my attention if I have been slacking.
4. I’m not going to ask you to check in on me every day or anything but if I have an excuse to miss the gym two days in a row, call me out on it. What works best for me is if you just ask me what I really want for myself. Are my choices going to get me what I want, am I going to be proud of myself, am I happy...stuff like that.
5. If I am legitimately sick and need a couple days to rest, that’s totally fine. But, if I’ve just got a couple sniffles or an upset stomach, you have my permission to:
a. Call me out on it (similar to #4 above)
b. Feed me some cold medicine or Pepto
c. Contact my husband to verify the truth of my sick claims d. Show up on my doorstep, wag your finger at me, and tell me get my ass to the gym
6. If I have had a real PMS emotional breakdown, I should be out of commission for no longer than one day. If it is more than one day, you may want to repeat the ways to support me 1-5.