SuperWoman Whiner

I had this debate in my head quite often in the past couple weeks actually. I tend to harbor the SuperWoman complex where I really truly believe I can conquer the world even if it is just my own little world. There's just something in the core of who I am that says I can do anything and everything I put my mind to. I see no limitations too great, I take no nay-sayer's word for confidence, I believe all obstacles are placed to be overcome. So what's wrong with that? I mean isn't that what every person wants to believe? Isn't that the stuff that separates the strong from the weak? Isn't that a really really really good thing?

I think it is a good thing, definitely.

But, and here's the big but, it can sometimes get me into trouble.

I tend to take on far more than I should because I consistently overestimate my own abilities. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as efficient and driven as a person can be but sometimes, it becomes apparent that I do only have two hands and there is only 24 hours in a day. And the other side of it is more along the lines of what I've been struggling with for the past couple weeks. That is that I'm not so good at knowing when to say when and just allow myself to be human.

First, it started with an annoying little headache and some strange things happening with my right eye. So I was a good girl and took some over the counter drugs to deal with the headache. One didn't work so I tried something different. That didn't work so I just suffered with it for a few days going about my business working and reading and exercising like I normally do. One week went by and I had no relief. I mean it was constant. Never letting up not even for a minute or two. So I went to the doctor (which is something else I am not so good at doing) upon the incessant nagging of my lovely hubby. Doc said it was a migraine and told me to go back to the neurologist I saw last year. So I did. In the meantime, tried a couple migraine meds and pain meds and they didn't work. Again, I just decided to power through without any meds (something else I hate taking).

Three weeks, 21 days of a constant headache. 1 day of relief. I don't know, it just went away. Then I came down with a damn cold the very next day. I woke up perfectly healthy but by the end of the day, I was full on sick.

Talk about frustrating. Geez! I worked through the first 2 weeks of headaches but took a couple days off to just lay down and rest in the dark and the silence of my own home. I wasn't able to work, I wasn't able to read, I wasn't able to watch tv, I wasn't able to go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine, and I wasn't able to exercise. So when I had the day of relief, I was ecstatic. Thrilled! I was ready to take on the world again. But no, not so fast. The cold kept me off my feet for another 4-5 days. No fun, no work, no entertainment, no exercise for another few days.

It was really very difficult for me to first admit that I needed to rest. I just wanted to keep going. When I feel the fire burning inside me, I just have to go and go and go. When the wave is building, I just have to ride it. Then to have a hint of hope to get back to it be shattered by sniffles and snot and coughing and stuffy head was just devastating. I suppose I was just scared. Afraid that so much time away would knock me off the momentum and cause a lack of interest when it was time to resume my activities. Afraid that I was letting myself down and my Accountabilibuddy.

I have this internal dialogue when it comes to a decision on whether to suck it up and push through or rest. It goes something like this:

• Uho....I'm not feeling so good. Aaay just suck it up princess. You'll be fine.
• Ok. Good plan.
• But, I'm really not feeling good now. Wonder if I should take it easy?
• Maybe. No. Um...maybe. Yes. NO. SUCK IT UP! You'll be fine. It'll pass.
• Okay. Good plan.
• But wait, if I just suck it up and push through but really am starting to get sick, won't I make it worse?
• Maybe, but what if you're really not getting sick and you're just being a little too sensative and just need to suck it up and push through?
• True. Okay. Good plan. Let's do it.
• But, what if I am really getting sick? If I am and I just push through today, I could be taking myself out of the game for a few days by not stopping and resting.
• True. But what if you're just whining and it's really nothing?
• Ya. Okay. I'm tough. I can do it.

So you see? Am I completely insane or what? One moment I'm SuperWoman, the next I'm whining (or so is my perseption).

I am proud to say that I did recognize my limitations with the migraines and the cold. I pushed through for a while but then admitted when it was time to rest and take care of myself. It was not easy but I did it. I was not happy about it but I did it. And I'd like to add that the fears have been proven false. Not a step was lost, not a heart broken.

P.S. I know it's TT today. I've been reading about exercise testing and prescription. Very dry. Very boring. Very difficult to summarize. But something that was neat in reading it was that I was better able to understand the results of getting my own metabolism tested last year. I have page after page of VOmax, HRmax, etc. calculations and the reading I just completed better explained what it all meant. Sorry I'm totally sucking with this TT stuff. I will say this though. ACSM recommends 3-5 days/week of vigorous cardio exercise or 5-7 days of moderate cardio plus 2-3 days/week of resistance training. If you burn between 1,500 and 2,000 calories each week with exercise, you're doing just fine. But seriously, don't ignore the resistance training. Weight lifting, band, balance exercises all good for muscle strength and endurance. So get your butts in the weight room.

You want this?

You gotta do this.