Been thinking...

It's true. I have. You know what I've been thinking about? My progress and the lack thereof. I've come to a couple realizations. So, here is what got me thinking about my lack of progress:

See? I've only lost 1.6 lbs since the beginning of December. It's now going on 9 weeks of next to no movement on the scale. The blanks are just because I forgot to enter my weights into the tool. Here they are:

December 27 - 169.4
January 17 - 168.6
January 24 - 167.6 or 166.2 which ever doesn't particularly matter to me because my scale said both

Well, there you have it.

I suppose I could choose to look at that and think to myself, "Seriously Salina, you suck. Like big time suck. What have you been doing for the past 2 months?" That's almost NO movement what so ever.

Or, I can choose to take a couple steps back and look at the big picture. The picture shows that I've lost 13.2 pounds since I started tracking in October. It has been 16 weeks. 13.2/16 weeks = 0.825 lbs per week on average. That's 13.2 lbs gone, hopefully for good considering how long it took me to shake those little buggers off.

And, I didn't actually gain weight over the holidays. Well, technically I did but I honestly don't think it counts because it all came right off immediately following the tiny bit of gluttony I participated in. I really think the apparent gain was due to the water retention because of all the sodium I ate during that week. Oh well, whatever.

But do you want to know what I'm most proud of myself for? The thing that had me thinking today? In many many years past, I've had a plateau or a little trip or stress happen in my life or life just happen for whatever reason and I've fallen completely. No. I didn't just fall. When I fell in the past, I sat there wallowing in it while shoving sweets and nasty greasy goodness in my mouth. Then I'd pop my head out of my ass once I had successfully gained back all the weight I had lost and usually a couple extra pounds just for good measure.

The Salina in years past would have looked at these past 9 weeks of practically no movement on the scale and decided that it was all wrong and more difficult than it should be and that I'm just defective, therefore it's stupid and a waste of time and energy anyway. Then I'd get pissed off and depressed and require a pie and a fork and tell everyone around me to just leave me alone. Then I'd curl up into my little turtle shell and hide from the world.

Let me ask you a question. Is that what I'm doing? Am I just sitting around wishing I had junk food and feeling lonely and defeated and depressed and angry at the world and all its inhabitants? The answer: ABSOFREAKINLUTELY NOT!

Instead, I'm still tracking every day (which is pretty impressive actually, 16 weeks of daily tracking), I'm still blogging, I'm still working out 5 or 6 days every week, I'm still planning my meals, I'm still talking to my Accountabilibuddy every day, I'm still participating in life in every way, I'm still doing all the things that make me happy (even if I don't do all of them everyday). I'm still living and I'm still happy.

What do you think? Do you think 16 weeks is long enough to judge lasting change? Some say it takes 30 days to form a habit, some say it takes 60 and others say it's more like 90 days. According to my ACSM study materials, I read that sedentary people who choose to get healthy and become active drop off between 3 and 6 months. Well, I'm only at 3 1/2 months now. Guess that means that I'm not quite out of the woods yet.

Or am I? I have done a lot more than just count my calories and show up at the gym a couple times a week. I've made over my entire attitude about myself and my perception of...well...just about everything. I'm not in it to lose 2 sizes so I can wear that hot little dress to a friend's wedding or prepare myself for having babies (which I think is soooooo stupid by the way but that's another discussion for another day). I'm not in a hurry to lose 50 lbs by May so I can wear the small bikini I bought for a trip to the tropics. I'm in it body, mind, and soul to BE healthy now and forever.

With so many disruptions and distractions that have happened over the past 16 weeks, I could have easily slipped away and then popped back in with some great excuses. The holidays and all the parties and all the wonderful food that looks just oh so good and I just couldn't resist because I just love food and life is too short to restrict such good things. My best friend and her surgery. I was in the hospital with her for almost a week. I wasn't able to get out and do any exercise. I wasn't able to control my diet. I wasn't able to track my calories. Oh goodness. Me oh my, how dreadful. How simple it would have been to just eat deep fried garbage and loads of sugar and blame it on one thing or another then feel sorry for myself because of my own decisions. But I didn't. Not at all! I didn't overeat over the holidays nor at the hospital nor have I missed a workout because of my 7 days of migraines. I'm dealing with life on life's terms and although it might be slow going sometimes, it's lasting and it's permanent. I'm making the decisions that I want to make because I want what my decisions will get me.

You know, the simple concept that I am thinking about how proud I am of myself for my frame of mind about where I am right now and my progress or lack thereof on the scale feels more satisfying than the 13.2 lbs I've lost anyway. How do you like that?