Weigh in day #2

I hate my scale. It's so retarded. After tracking everything this week again, I show a 4,800 calorie deficit which should be about 1.5 pounds. I'm seriously happy with any loss but as far as tracking goes...that's what the numbers report.

So, it's Sunday morning first thing. I go to my laundry room where my scale and calipers are. I strip down to nothin' like I do every Sunday morning. I pull out the stupid little bitch liar and step on it. 175 pops up. I think to myself, "that can't be right". Step again, 175. And again, 175. Maybe it is right. :( Sad panda.

I refuse to believe it. I step again and get 173.8, same as last Sunday. Huh? Again, 173.8. Am I taking crazy pills here? Is all this exercise and good self care stuff getting to my head? Is it a mirage? Step again, 175. WTF!??! I seriously want to throw it at this point. So there I am naked in my laundry room with my scale, stepping on and off and on and off and on and off only to see it jump back and forth between 173.8 and 175. I stepped on it 13 times, 7 of which reported 175 and the rest reported 173.8. I think it's possessed. I think it's got some kind of attitude problem and it's taking pleasure in torturing me with these ridiculous antics. Perhaps I should sit down and have a heart to heart with it.

It was then that I started talking to it like it was an employee. I do tend to talk to inanimate objects, especially electronics of any kind. I said:

"What do you think you're doing?"
"Are you having trouble figuring out your job, you know...what I hired you to do?"
"IDIOT!"
"Come on now, how hard is your job anyway, I step on and you give me a number, one number please, the right one."

So, I realized that I was talking to the damn thing again and after 13 tries, I gave up. I pinched some fat with the calipers and saw the same number as last week so I guess that's that. I don't know what weight to put down on my tracker though. I don't want to lie if I really did gain, but I don't trust either number because it couldn't make up it's tiny little mind about what number to give me so how am I to decide which is right. I think I'll just give it a rest for the evening and try again tomorrow morning. Maybe it just didn't have a good week and needs some alone time.

It should know that I'm considering firing it's ass and bringing in a good old fashioned scale, you know the kind with the dial. If the high tech bitch with an attitude problem can't figure their shit out, I'm going for a trusty old clunker. Any suggestions for a possible replacement? I need an honest employee, no more of this lying BS.