On the wagon, off the wagon, on the wagon...

Here's a question for you.

What do you consider acceptable wagon behavior?

I hear people talk about being on the weight loss wagon and then apologize for falling off the wagon and then complain about how it's the struggle to get back on again. So, what about when someone claims to be on the wagon but their behaviors are questionable?

What do you think? Is it acceptable to....

• Eat healthful foods during the work day then throw it all out the window a couple nights a week
• Go to happy hour and "treat yourself" with a couple drinks and a shared appetizer a couple nights a week
• Commit to participating in physical activity then not show up
• Tap into your vast collection of lame excuses to get out of doing something good for you
• Say you want to take care of yourself and that it's the most important thing to you then over eat or skip out on exercise
• Make good choices for yourself during the week but allow total freedom every weekend
• Ask for advice and support then choose to ignore it
• Turn people down when they invite you to do some kind of physical activity

Just wondering what you think about these types of behaviors. To me, they say "I care but not enough to do anything that might be a little uncomfortable for a while". Or perhaps they say "It's important to me but only as long as the actions to get there are convenient". Yes I want to exercise might actually be code for "Yes I want to want to exercise" or in other words, "I really wish I wanted to exercise".

Too bad exercising actually requires the ass to leave the sofa.

I'm struggling with some of these behaviors myself. No, I'm not doing any of them. I have agreed to support someone starting their weight loss journey and I see these behaviors in that person's actions. So my struggle is in determining where to allow them a little flexibility to find and celebrate the small successes to build the much needed self esteem and where to sit them down and and wag my wholier than thou finger right in their face.

I've had another person I agreed to support in the past and she did these behaviors. I was gentle with her the first couple times then I just laid it out brutal and honest. My message was basically to shit or get off the pot. I hate that stupid saying but it works in this type of situation I think. What else is there? I mean really. If you have all the resources necessary, you have the knowledge for eating right and getting some physical acitivity, you have the motivation (such as being morbidly obese and having health related problems because of it), all that is really left is to get off your ass and walk the walk.

I understand that there is an emotional component to it. In my experience, the emotional component was what made the difference. I am not the best at maintaining a level playing field as far as my stress goes. I tend to overdo everything then clean up the stress mess when it's all done. The stress management is huge for my body to allow proper fuctioning. Self esteem is what fuels the fire deep inside me. Without believing in myself, it would be so easy to quit when times get tough. Understanding my emotions and how to affect them gives me the control to use them to my advantage in times of strength and in times of weakness.

Now if only I could bottle my knowledge and experience and education and self awareness...I really wish I could just plug my brain into theirs and download everything so they can feel the same kind of joy I feel from doing the right things for myself. If only...